My inner world

I feel that I have grown up a two different character in side me. what a level I try to merge it, it's being stronger. In one of them I am very strong who have no sensible feeling and very hard hearted but another one I am very sensible one resulting I always broke out of tears during any work, event which even touch my feeling either movie, books, leaser hour. I want to overcome it but don't know how. will anyone help me to distribute my full of emotion with my another personality. Why I broke up to tears. Is it due to some guilty conscious in myself. on a feeling of lacking some thing, I am showing always that I am emotionally strong with no tear in my eyes then why I failed during movies, reading a emotional book or even listening song in alone will my unconscious mind need some thing which suppress by my conscious one, who reject any emotional attachment or a fear. In crude way fear of rejection is so much high in me that I want to supersede anyone character and then get along them to elevate up to the level that they should be better than me or simply i am on no 1 and not on no 2. Is my fear is so much high that I can't be able to acceptance even on micro level, why I always when ever choose , chose it on rejection level. A slight sense of acceptance is taken me in defensive mode and put strong wall between two of us up to that the another side reject me on his acceptance level. Is I am going to emotional breakdown or any thing else can haappen with me./